Footprints are Forever
So, as a little background for those of you who may not know - and I’m sure all of you are up to date with the who owns who of the corporate world - Mann Theaters is jointly owned by Paramount and Warner Bros. Two companies who, I think, are going to bring down a Hollywood institution within the next several years. Now as everyone probably does know, along with all the wonderful movie complexes that Mann has to offer, one of them is the great Chinese Theater. Now, I’ve been meaning to see a movie there for quite sometime, yet when the two studios that own the Chinese book thier own movies all the time, the quality of film playing from week to week is…. shit. I mean, I’m sure it would have been fun to brave the long lines for Boogeyman, but there are only so many hours in a week. A theater that once hosted all the premieres and constantly opened all the big blockbusters, it has now been forced (well, not forced, just mis-managed, I guess) into playing b-list horror flicks and other garbage that Paramount has been putting out lately. The future looks bright for Paramount though as they are soon releasing thier eagerly anticapted film version of the classic TV show, “The Honeymooners.”
Along with the Chinese’s great history of film premieres (they opened every Star Wars film - except Episode III which will go to the Arclight) it also boasts the Forecourt of the Stars, a great tradition started in the late twenties when the theater was first built. Many great Hollywood icons have thier hands and feet embeded in the cement: Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, Julie Andrews, Cecil B. DeMille, Mary Pickford, Marylin Monroe - just to name a few. In the early nineties Paramount and Warner Bros bought the theater and soon took over the footprint ceremonies, turning the once a year special event into an act of pure masturbation. Some of the great stars of our time now included next to those of the golden age are: Steven Segal, Jim Carrey, Danny Glover, William Hertz, Richard Gere, Terry Semel, Bob Daly, & Sherry Lansing… wait you don’t know who the last three are? Dumb ass. Well, finally to top it all off, next week the most brilliant actor of our time, Adam Sandler (which is proven by viewing his intellectually stimulating body of work), will be immortalized out front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater. I hope that everyone can attend.
